A postmodern anchorwoman for the History Channel predicted the end of the Catholic Church in 2010. This doesn’t mean the Vatican will be blown up. It means that Pope Benedict XVI’s successor will likely be a postmodern pro-abortion puppet, perhaps a "progressive" cardinal from some Third World country.

Postmodern Emperor Bill Clinton and his Global Initiative are "tackling worldwide AIDS" – or at least that is what they claim. To what extent Clinton’s coterie of intellectual supremacists had the cure to HIV infection all along is guesswork, like asking George W. Bush’s team if they know exactly where Osama bin Laden is hiding and aren’t really intent on capturing him. That’s postmodern leadership for you. That the face of Christ is being wrapped around the worst presidents in our history is reflective of the quicksand, which the entire postmodern war of theatre (rather than theatre of war) is built on. There’s not a distraction from the truth this set of Third Way Fuhrers can’t cook up.

If one considers news as oil, then CNN stations are oilrigs and refineries. You can bet your bottom dollar that CNN refines all the news it delivers. CNN makes the enemy (of whatever stripe) look appealing. Postmodern documentaries are all about style and who comes off as the good guy and who is smeared as the bad guy.

Clinton sure has a lock on the good guy delivery. Following his heart surgery, Clinton has even developed a Buddha-like surface calm. Let us not forget that Mao Zedong was first a Buddhist and then the deadliest of postmodern dictators.

Islam’s new face man is Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. This guy runs a press conference like a Bill Clinton Global Initiative Summit, all photo-op smiles and sound-bite quips. All Ahmadinejad needs is a face-saving interview with Barbara Walters and we’ll realize that he is entitled to build atomic weapons.

For 33 years, the U.S. postmodern establishment has remained either supportive or silent about its domestic version of the Maoist Population Control Policy – the Supreme Court’s 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. Nothing can save these postmodern savants – liberals, progressives, socialists and minions of the New World Order – from being on the wrong side of history. Yes, postmodern history will, after this swelling tide of success with the Clinton Global Initiative, face its Waterloo in France. Once Roe v. Wade is overturned and the U.S. Supreme Court is ordered to live up to the Declaration of Independence, the Imperialists of the Progressive Postmodern World will flee to Paris, where all the totalitarian madness began during the French Revolution. There, when Europe becomes enraged by postmodern inhumanity and civil war erupts, the Red Chinese Army will be brought in to quell the unrest. It is then that the Europe’s Matriarchal Marxists will be taught a bitter lesson about their own hypocrisy by that empire arising from Mao Zedong’s incomparable evil.

Brutus, the villain in William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, has always been a big hero for postmodern intellectuals. Brutus is the anti-hero, the perfect French leading man, a film noir godsend. I suspect the assault on Pope Benedict XVI, in honor of Brutus, will occur on one of the forthcoming Ides of March. These dates are as vitally important to the spirit of Communism as Christmas is to Christians. If the History Channel anchorwoman is right, the new pope will be installed during the Ides of March in 2010. Should the postmoderns succeed, there will of course be the long-awaited, often-promised global fireworks we see advertised in media old and new.

I foretell an end to postmodern history on July 4, 2015. On that fateful day, the subjugated people of Red China will rise up and rip the belly out of the Maoist Flying Dragon, setting off a chain reaction the outcome of which will be disastrous to World Socialism.

Karl Marx’s minions have so deconstructed language that the limb they put themselves out on is now made of balsawood. Mao, because of his lack of hypocrisy, never misconstrued the absolute meanings that underpin language. Terrorist-hugging postmoderns in so-called western democracies will soon realize how frail a branch of the Maoist Tree they are perched on.

But, then again, I’m obviously "pre-passé" and a drunk from Detroit to boot, so what the hell do I know?